Red Lamé

2023, eh?  That happened.  The last quarter of it decided to be the Moriarty to my Holmes and tried to rugby tackle me over the Reichenbach Falls.  The joke’s on 2023, it’s dead at midnight and I’m (hopefully) not.  ‘ We’re staying in.  I’m not physically or temperamentally disposed to wander far tonight.  The weather

Advent Flog 2023 #24 – Silent-ish Night

Christmas Eve, it’s late and just me in the living room.  Everyone else had gone to bed or left.  Not a creature was stirring, not even a…  cat. That’s a complete lie, Tarragon’s posed up on the speakers by the telly, poised like an Egyptian deity and staring fixed at something/nothing over my right shoulder. 

Advent Flog 2023 #23 – Pegram’s

Yes, I know the last two instalments of the Advent Flog are late.  Badly late, although still the right calendar year, so that’s something.  What can I say?  Trying to do Christmas on one bad wheel was tiring and time-consuming.  It’s taken me a day or so to gather my energies. I’m writing this with

Advent Flog 2023 #22 – Stuffed

And on the 22nd of December we found ourselves briefly turkey-less. Mad really.  We’d booked one of those “click and collect” things with Aldi (or Lidl, I get them mixed up all the time; they’re basically the same thing).  On the morning of the “collect” we received an email detailing the items they were going

Advent Flog 2023 #21 – Mid Winter

The shortest day and the longest night.  We’re halfway through the dark. It seems quiet.  Maybe I’ve just got used to the near-constant cacophony of the builders next door?  You’d hope they’d gone home by now, it’s barely a sniff from midnight.  Caroline’s gone to bed so I’m left with a glass of rum and

Advent Flog 2023 #20 – Beckham Injury

Today was a day for calls with my GP.  I say “my”, I’m not entirely sure I have a GP anymore.  If I have, we either haven’t met or haven’t been introduced properly.  I’m not posh, as long as they’re wearing a white coat and a stethoscope, I’m easy. These were telephone appointments so I’ve

Advent Flog 2023 #19 – Right Down the Plug Hole

Did you know that I wrote 70% of a musical once?  It was called “Down the Plug Hole”… …Although, actually, I didn’t come up with the title, so it’s more like 69%, isn’t it?  Christ, did I actually write any of this sodding musical? As mentioned we played to ten Primary Schools in five days,

Advent Flog 2023 #18 – Further Down the Plug Hole

Did you know that I wrote 70% of a musical once, a long time ago?  Maybe 60% of a musical, actually. Oh wait, I did that bit. Rehearsals for Down the Plug Hole were ongoing.  We were forced to rehearse things out of order as I was writing scenes out of order, filling the gaps

Advent Flog 2023 #17 – Down the Plug Hole

Did you know I wrote a musical once, a long time ago? Most of a musical, at least.  Let’s say roughly 98%.  Actually, bit less than that as I didn’t write the music.  I wrote all the lyrics though.    So, let’s say 70%.  The year was 1992 (or 1993) and I was at college studying

Advent Flog 2023 #16 – Chapeau

I do like hats.  I’m like the late Queen Mother in that regard.  I’m less keen horse racing, drinking Dubonnet and gin for breakfast and being dead since 2002, but as far as owning hats is concerned, we’re on the same page.  Hats are great.  They protect you from the elements; from the sun during